That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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