Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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