So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
two words: eviction party
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
