we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I came so hard my ears popped.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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