...so i touched it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I need water and some morals
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
