i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
my liver is dry heaving
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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