Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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