So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
