I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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