yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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