I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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