NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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