Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Too much gin, very little bucket
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
