Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
