He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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