she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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