I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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