WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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