we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
