i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
