do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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