So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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