Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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