Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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