so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
