we made out on top of his cat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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