3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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