wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
