You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
