Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
