Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
