Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
