Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
