I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
