so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i think i just lost a toe
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
