Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
