with your own penis?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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