I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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