She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
