My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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