I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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