is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
