I'm lost and stupid without you.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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