I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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