Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
