If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
