wanna go halves on a baby?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
