ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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