I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
