I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
